Freaking out
So I think I have come too the edge. I am just really suffering from moments of anxiety over my match list intertwined with periods of a “I don’t care anymore” attitude. I realize many of you may not have these same feelings because I know I bring most of it on myself, just the way I’m wired I guess. I wonder if there is something about some of us applicants out there who just seem to put too much on our plate (school, grades, research, meetings). I also fight the feeling that this is my fourth year of medical school and it’s suppose to be that last magical year of minimal responsibility and enjoying life.
For me I wonder if I will ever enjoy this last year. I know many will say “once you submit your list you’re done” but I wonder about that. After I find out where (or if) I am going for residency I have to start getting ready for it. I have find a place to live, move my stuff (maybe really far!) and start filling out all the paper work. This all comes on top of all the stuff I have to due before graduation, figuring out how the hell I am going to pay back all my loans and my last few rotations.
Saying all the above I realize that this too will pass and life will go on. I have tried to take the mentality of one step at a time (mostly so I don’t get carried away). I think my list is done. I went around and asked some of the people in the field that I respect and have come to rest. Honestly after the top five I just am splitting hairs and really picking programs for no logical reason other than I liked the pens/mugs/key chains they gave us.
I think the best thing for me to do at this point is just submit my list and try and enjoy some of the holidays before things all start back up in 2010.
Nice, you got a mug from someplace? Pretty sure that would have sold me.
Behold the power of positive thinking. Sometimes we worry too much about things we can't control. Then again maybe it is cocky to think you will match no matter what. I'm the one who uses a positive attitude to build confidence. If you think positively, then you have a positive outcome. I also use this type of strategy in any room I enter when I don't know anyone. I think that these people have no idea who I am, but they want to know me. Drumrole...easy connections are made. This has opened a lot of doors for me.
So for you, things will fall in place. Don't worry about loans. Defer them except for that relocation loan with 11 percent interest. Enjoy fourth year with family and friends. I plan on going on mini trips. The house hunt will be stressful, yes, but you'll find it.
As my southwest airline's attendant said: "As always shift happens so be prepared for anything."
drink some egg nog and make sure there is some whiskey in it